Linuxのジョークコマンド11個をまとめてみた
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Linuxで使えるジョークコマンドってどんなのがあるんだろう?
ということで、ちょっと調べてまとめてみた。

はっきり言って実用性は皆無なので、間違ってもメインのサーバやマシンには入れちゃダメだぜ!

1.sl

ジョークコマンドとして定番。実行すると、AAのSL列車がコンソール上を走り抜ける。
インストールは以下。

●debian系の場合

apt-get install sl

●Redhat系の場合

yum install sl

実行した結果がこちら。

20140619_000000

一応、オプションが4個ほどついてるのでその紹介。

  • -a …小さい人?が助けを求めるようになる
  • -l…SLが小さくなる
  • -F…SLが画面上の方に移動するようになる
  • -e…SLが走っている最中に「Ctrl + C」で離脱できるようになる

オプションは組み合わせて使うこともできる。

2.cowsay

AAで表示されるウシに、引数で記述した内容を喋らせるというもの。
パイプ使用して、他のコマンドの実行結果を喋らせる事もできる。

●debian系の場合

apt-get install cowsay

●Redhat系の場合

yum install cowsay

実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000001

ウシ以外のAAも指定出来る。
以下は、「-f」オプションでゴーストバスターズを指定したもの。

test@Test-UbuntuOS004:~$ cowsay -f ghostbusters ゴーストバスターズ

20140621_000002

Sponsored Links

以下のコマンドで使用出来るAAを一括出力出来る。

cowsay -l | grep -v "^Cow" | sed -e "s% %\n%g" | sed -e "s%\(.*\)%cowsay -f \1 Now I am a \1%" | sh

実行した結果が以下。

test@Test-UbuntuOS004:~$ cowsay -l | grep -v "^Cow" | sed -e "s% %\n%g" | sed -e "s%\(.*\)%cowsay -f \1 Now I am a \1%" | sh
 ________________
< Now I am a apt >
 ----------------
       \ (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~
 _______________________
< Now I am a beavis.zen >
 -----------------------
   \         __------~~-,
    \      ,'            ,
          /               \
         /                :
        |                  '
        |                  |
        |                  |
         |   _--           |
         _| =-.     .-.   ||
         o|/o/       _.   |
         /  ~          \ |
       (____@)  ___~    |
          |_===~~~.`    |
       _______.--~     |
       \________       |
                \      |
              __/-___-- -__
             /            _ \
 _________________
< Now I am a bong >
 -----------------
         \
          \
            ^__^
    _______/(oo)
/\/(       /(__)
   | W----|| |~|
   ||     || |~|  ~~
             |~|  ~
             |_| o
             |#|/
            _+#+_
 ______________________
< Now I am a bud-frogs >
 ----------------------
     \
      \
          oO)-.                       .-(Oo
         /__  _\                     /_  __\
         \  \(  |     ()~()         |  )/  /
          \__|\ |    (-___-)        | /|__/
          '  '--'    ==`-'==        '--'  '
 __________________
< Now I am a bunny >
 ------------------
  \
   \   \
        \ /\
        ( )
      .( o ).
 ___________________
< Now I am a calvin >
 -------------------
 \                   .,
   \         .      .TR   d'
     \      k,l    .R.b  .t .Je
       \   .P q.   a|.b .f .Z%
           .b .h  .E` # J: 2`     .
      .,.a .E  ,L.M'  ?:b `| ..J9!`.,
       q,.h.M`   `..,   ..,""` ..2"`
       .M, J8`   `:       `   3;
   .    Jk              ...,   `^7"90c.
    j,  ,!     .7"'`j,.|   .n.   ...
   j, 7'     .r`     4:      L   `...
  ..,m.      J`    ..,|..    J`  7TWi
  ..JJ,.:    %    oo      ,. ....,
    .,E      3     7`g.M:    P  41
   JT7"'      O.   .J,;     ``  V"7N.
   G.           ""Q+  .Zu.,!`      Z`
   .9.. .         J&..J!       .  ,:
      7"9a                    JM"!
         .5J.     ..        ..F`
            78a..   `    ..2'
                J9Ksaw0"'
               .EJ?A...a.
               q...g...gi
              .m...qa..,y:
              .HQFNB&...mm
               ,Z|,m.a.,dp
            .,?f` ,E?:"^7b
            `A| . .F^^7'^4,
             .MMMMMMMMMMMQzna,
         ...f"A.JdT     J:    Jp,
          `JNa..........A....af`
               `^^^^^'`
 ___________________
< Now I am a cheese >
 -------------------
   \
    \
      _____   _________
     /     \_/         |
    |                 ||
    |                 ||
   |    ###\  /###   | |
   |     0  \/  0    | |
  /|                 | |
 / |        <        |\ \
| /|                 | | |
| |     \_______/   |  | |
| |                 | / /
/||                 /|||
   ----------------|
        | |    | |
        ***    ***
       /___\  /___\
 _________________
< Now I am a cock >
 -----------------
    \
     \  /\/\
       \   /
       |  0 >>
       |___|
 __((_<|   |
(          |
(__________)
   |      |
   |      |
   /\     /\
 __________________
< Now I am a cower >
 ------------------
     \
      \
        ,__, |    |
        (oo)\|    |___
        (__)\|    |   )\_
             |    |_w |  \
             |    |  ||   *

             Cower....
 ___________________
< Now I am a daemon >
 -------------------
   \         ,        ,
    \       /(        )`
     \      \ \___   / |
            /- _  `-/  '
           (/\/ \ \   /\
           / /   | `    \
           O O   ) /    |
           `-^--'`<     '
          (_.)  _  )   /
           `.___/`    /
             `-----' /
<----.     __ / __   \
<----|====O)))==) \) /====
<----'    `--' `.__,' \
             |        |
              \       /
        ______( (_  / \______
      ,'  ,-----'   |        \
      `--{__________)        \/
 ____________________
< Now I am a default >
 --------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||
 ___________________
< Now I am a dragon >
 -------------------
      \                    / \  //\
       \    |\___/|      /   \//  \\
            /0  0  \__  /    //  | \ \
           /     /  \/_/    //   |  \  \
           @_^_@'/   \/_   //    |   \   \
           //_^_/     \/_ //     |    \    \
        ( //) |        \///      |     \     \
      ( / /) _|_ /   )  //       |      \     _\
    ( // /) '/,_ _ _/  ( ; -.    |    _ _\.-~        .-~~~^-.
  (( / / )) ,-{        _      `-.|.-~-.           .~         `.
 (( // / ))  '/\      /                 ~-. _ .-~      .-~^-.  \
 (( /// ))      `.   {            }                   /      \  \
  (( / ))     .----~-.\        \-'                 .~         \  `. \^-.
             ///.----..>        \             _ -~             `.  ^-`  ^-_
               ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _}^ - - - - ~                     ~-- ,.-~
                                                                  /.-~
 ___________________________
< Now I am a dragon-and-cow >
 ---------------------------
                       \                    ^    /^
                        \                  / \  // \
                         \   |\___/|      /   \//  .\
                          \  /O  O  \__  /    //  | \ \           *----*
                            /     /  \/_/    //   |  \  \          \   |
                            @___@`    \/_   //    |   \   \         \/\ \
                           0/0/|       \/_ //     |    \    \         \  \
                       0/0/0/0/|        \///      |     \     \       |  |
                    0/0/0/0/0/_|_ /   (  //       |      \     _\     |  /
                 0/0/0/0/0/0/`/,_ _ _/  ) ; -.    |    _ _\.-~       /   /
                             ,-}        _      *-.|.-~-.           .~    ~
            \     \__/        `/\      /                 ~-. _ .-~      /
             \____(oo)           *.   }            {                   /
             (    (--)          .----~-.\        \-`                 .~
             //__\\  \__ Ack!   ///.----..<        \             _ -~
            //    \\               ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _{^ - - - - ~
 _________________
< Now I am a duck >
 -----------------
 \
  \
   \ >()_
      (__)__ _
 _____________________
< Now I am a elephant >
 ---------------------
 \     /\  ___  /\
  \   // \/   \/ \\
     ((    O O    ))
      \\ /     \ //
       \/  | |  \/
        |  | |  |
        |  | |  |
        |   o   |
        | |   | |
        |m|   |m|
 ______________________________
< Now I am a elephant-in-snake >
 ------------------------------
       \
        \  ....
          .    ........
          .            .
          .             .
    .......              .........
    ..............................
Elephant inside ASCII snake
 _________________
< Now I am a eyes >
 -----------------
    \
     \
                                   .::!!!!!!!:.
  .!!!!!:.                        .:!!!!!!!!!!!!
  ~~~~!!!!!!.                 .:!!!!!!!!!UWWW$$$
      :$$NWX!!:           .:!!!!!!XUWW$$$$$$$$$P
      $$$$$##WX!:      .<!!!!UW$$$$"  $$$$$$$$#
      $$$$$  $$$UX   :!!UW$$$$$$$$$   4$$$$$*
      ^$$$B  $$$$\     $$$$$$$$$$$$   d$$R"
        "*$bd$$$$      '*$$$$$$$$$$$o+#"
             """"          """""""
 __________________________
< Now I am a flaming-sheep >
 --------------------------
  \            .    .     .
   \      .  . .     `  ,
    \    .; .  : .' :  :  : .
     \   i..`: i` i.i.,i  i .
      \   `,--.|i |i|ii|ii|i:
           UooU\.'@@@@@@`.||'
           \__/(@@@@@@@@@@)'
                (@@@@@@@@)
                `YY~~~~YY'
                 ||    ||
 _________________________
< Now I am a ghostbusters >
 -------------------------
          \
           \
            \          __---__
                    _-       /--______
               __--( /     \ )XXXXXXXXXXX\v.
             .-XXX(   O   O  )XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
            /XXX(       U     )        XXXXXXX\
          /XXXXX(              )--_  XXXXXXXXXXX\
         /XXXXX/ (      O     )   XXXXXX   \XXXXX\
         XXXXX/   /            XXXXXX   \__ \XXXXX
         XXXXXX__/          XXXXXX         \__---->
 ---___  XXX__/          XXXXXX      \__         /
   \-  --__/   ___/\  XXXXXX            /  ___--/=
    \-\    ___/    XXXXXX              '--- XXXXXX
       \-\/XXX\ XXXXXX                      /XXXXX
         \XXXXXXXXX   \                    /XXXXX/
          \XXXXXX      >                 _/XXXXX/
            \XXXXX--__/              __-- XXXX/
             -XXXXXXXX---------------  XXXXXX-
                \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
                  ""VXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV""
 ________________
< Now I am a gnu >
 ----------------
    \               ,-----._
  .  \         .  ,'        `-.__,------._
 //   \      __\\'                        `-.
((    _____-'___))                           |
 `:='/     (alf_/                            |
 `.=|      |='                               |
    |)   O |                                  \
    |      |                               /\  \
    |     /                          .    /  \  \
    |    .-..__            ___   .--' \  |\   \  |
   |o o  |     ``--.___.  /   `-'      \  \\   \ |
    `--''        '  .' / /             |  | |   | \
                 |  | / /              |  | |   mmm
                 |  ||  |              | /| |
                 ( .' \ \              || | |
                 | |   \ \            // / /
                 | |    \ \          || |_|
                /  |    |_/         /_|
               /__/
 ____________________
< Now I am a head-in >
 --------------------
    \
     \
    ^__^         /
    (oo)\_______/  _________
    (__)\       )=(  ____|_ \_____
        ||----w |  \ \     \_____ |
        ||     ||   ||           ||
 _______________________
< Now I am a hellokitty >
 -----------------------
  \
   \
      /\_)o<
     |      \
     | O . O|
      \_____/
 _________________
< Now I am a kiss >
 -----------------
     \
      \
             ,;;;;;;;,
            ;;;;;;;;;;;,
           ;;;;;'_____;'
           ;;;(/))))|((\
           _;;((((((|))))
          / |_\\\\\\\\\\\\
     .--~(  \ ~))))))))))))
    /     \  `\-(((((((((((\\
    |    | `\   ) |\       /|)
     |    |  `. _/  \_____/ |
      |    , `\~            /
       |    \  \           /
      | `.   `\|          /
      |   ~-   `\        /
       \____~._/~ -_,   (\
        |-----|\   \    ';;
       |      | :;;;'     \
      |  /    |            |
      |       |            |
 __________________
< Now I am a kitty >
 ------------------
     \
      \
       ("`-'  '-/") .___..--' ' "`-._
         ` *_ *  )    `-.   (      ) .`-.__. `)
         (_Y_.) ' ._   )   `._` ;  `` -. .-'
      _.. `--'_..-_/   /--' _ .' ,4
   ( i l ),-''  ( l i),'  ( ( ! .-'
 __________________
< Now I am a koala >
 ------------------
  \
   \
       ___
     {~._.~}
      ( Y )
     ()~*~()
     (_)-(_)
 _________________
< Now I am a kosh >
 -----------------
    \
     \
      \
  ___       _____     ___
 /   \     /    /|   /   \
|     |   /    / |  |     |
|     |  /____/  |  |     |
|     |  |    |  |  |     |
|     |  | {} | /   |     |
|     |  |____|/    |     |
|     |    |==|     |     |
|      \___________/      |
|                         |
|                         |
 _______________________
< Now I am a luke-koala >
 -----------------------
  \
   \          .
       ___   //
     {~._.~}//
      ( Y )K/
     ()~*~()
     (_)-(_)
     Luke
     Skywalker
     koala
 _________________________
< Now I am a mech-and-cow >
 -------------------------
                                   ,-----.
                                   |     |
                                ,--|     |-.
                         __,----|  |     | |
                       ,;::     |  `_____' |
                       `._______|    i^i   |
                                `----| |---'| .
                           ,-------._| |== ||//
                           |       |_|P`.  /'/
                           `-------' 'Y Y/'/'
                                     .== /_
   ^__^                             /   /'|  `i
   (oo)_______                   /'   /  |   |
   (__)       )/             /'    /   |   `i
       ||----w |           ___,;`----'.___L_,-'`__
       ||     ||          i_____;----.____i""____

 _________________
< Now I am a meow >
 -----------------
  \
   \ ,   _ ___.--'''`--''//-,-_--_.
      \`"' ` || \\ \ \\/ / // / ,-\\`,_
     /'`  \ \ || Y  | \|/ / // / - |__ `-,
    /@"\  ` \ `\ |  | ||/ // | \/  \  `-._`-,_.,
   /  _.-. `.-\,___/\ _/|_/_\_\/|_/ |     `-._._)
   `-'``/  /  |  // \__/\__  /  \__/ \
        `-'  /-\/  | -|   \__ \   |-' |
          __/\ / _/ \/ __,-'   ) ,' _|'
         (((__/(((_.' ((___..-'((__,'
 _________________
< Now I am a milk >
 -----------------
 \     ____________
  \    |__________|
      /           /\
     /           /  \
    /___________/___/|
    |          |     |
    |  ==\ /== |     |
    |   O   O  | \ \ |
    |     <    |  \ \|
   /|          |   \ \
  / |  \_____/ |   / /
 / /|          |  / /|
/||\|          | /||\/
    -------------|
        | |    | |
       <__/    \__>
 ____________________
< Now I am a moofasa >
 --------------------
       \    ____
        \  /    \
          | ^__^ |
          | (oo) |______
          | (__) |      )\/\
           \____/|----w |
                ||     ||

                 Moofasa
 __________________
< Now I am a moose >
 ------------------
  \
   \   \_\_    _/_/
    \      \__/
           (oo)\_______
           (__)\       )\/\
               ||----w |
               ||     ||
 ______________________
< Now I am a mutilated >
 ----------------------
       \   \_______
 v__v   \  \   O   )
 (oo)      ||----w |
 (__)      ||     ||  \/\

 _________________
< Now I am a pony >
 -----------------
       \          /\/\
        \         \/\/
         \        /   -\
          \     /  oo   -\
           \  /           \
             |    ---\    -\
             \--/     \     \
                       |      -\
                        \       -\         -------------\    /-\
                         \        \-------/              ---/    \
                          \                                  |\   \
                           |                                 / |  |
                           \                                |  \  |
                            |                              /    \ |
                            |                             /     \ |
                             \                             \     \|
                              -              /--------\    |      o
                               \+   +---------          \   |
                                |   |                   |   \
                                |   |                    \   |
                                |   |                    |   \
                                |   |                     \   |
                                 \  |                     |   |
                                 |  |                      \  \
                                 |  |                      |   |
                                 +--+                       ---+
 _________________________
< Now I am a pony-smaller >
 -------------------------
     \      _^^
      \   _- oo\
          \----- \______
                \       )\
                ||-----|| \
                ||     ||
 ________________
< Now I am a ren >
 ----------------
   \
    \
    ____
   /# /_\_
  |  |/o\o\
  |  \\_/_/
 / |_   |
|  ||\_ ~|
|  ||| \/
|  |||_
 \//  |
  ||  |
  ||_  \
  \_|  o|
  /\___/
 /  ||||__
    (___)_)
 __________________
< Now I am a sheep >
 ------------------
  \
   \
       __
      UooU\.'@@@@@@`.
      \__/(@@@@@@@@@@)
           (@@@@@@@@)
           `YY~~~~YY'
            ||    ||
 _____________________
< Now I am a skeleton >
 ---------------------
          \      (__)
           \     /oo|
            \   (_"_)*+++++++++*
                   //I#\\\\\\\\I\
                   I[I|I|||||I I `
                   I`I'///'' I I
                   I I       I I
                   ~ ~       ~ ~
                     Scowleton
 ____________________
< Now I am a snowman >
 --------------------
   \
 ___###
   /oo\ |||
   \  / \|/
   /""\  I
()|    |(I)
   \  /  I
  /""""\ I
 |      |I
 |      |I
  \____/ I
 ____________________________
< Now I am a sodomized-sheep >
 ----------------------------
  \                 __
   \               (oo)
    \              (  )
     \             /--\
       __         / \  \
      UooU\.'@@@@@@`.\  )
      \__/(@@@@@@@@@@) /
           (@@@@@@@@)((
           `YY~~~~YY' \\
            ||    ||   >>
 ________________________
< Now I am a stegosaurus >
 ------------------------
\                             .       .
 \                           / `.   .' "
  \                  .---.  <    > <    >  .---.
   \                 |    \  \ - ~ ~ - /  /    |
         _____          ..-~             ~-..-~
        |     |   \~~~\.'                    `./~~~/
       ---------   \__/                        \__/
      .'  O    \     /               /       \  "
     (_____,    `._.'               |         }  \/~~~/
      `----.          /       }     |        /    \__/
            `-.      |       /      |       /      `. ,~~|
                ~-.__|      /_ - ~ ^|      /- _      `..-'
                     |     /        |     /     ~-.     `-. _  _  _
                     |_____|        |_____|         ~ - . _ _ _ _ _>
 ___________________
< Now I am a stimpy >
 -------------------
  \     .    _  .
   \    |\_|/__/|
       / / \/ \  \
      /__|O||O|__ \
     |/_ \_/\_/ _\ |
     | | (____) | ||
     \/\___/\__/  //
     (_/         ||
      |          ||
      |          ||\
       \        //_/
        \______//
       __ || __||
      (____(____)
 _________________
< Now I am a suse >
 -----------------
  \
   \____
  /@    ~-.
  \/ __ .- |
   // //  @
 _______________________
< Now I am a three-eyes >
 -----------------------
        \  ^___^
         \ (ooo)\_______
           (___)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||
 ___________________
< Now I am a turkey >
 -------------------
  \                                  ,+*^^*+___+++_
   \                           ,*^^^^              )
    \                       _+*                     ^**+_
     \                    +^       _ _++*+_+++_,         )
              _+^^*+_    (     ,+*^ ^          \+_        )
             {       )  (    ,(    ,_+--+--,      ^)      ^\
            { (@)    } f   ,(  ,+-^ __*_*_  ^^\_   ^\       )
           {:;-/    (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_    )    )      /
          ( /  (    (        ,___    ^*+_+* )   <    <      \
           U _/     )    *--<  ) ^\-----++__)   )    )       )
            (      )  _(^)^^))  )  )\^^^^^))^*+/    /       /
          (      /  (_))_^)) )  )  ))^^^^^))^^^)__/     +^^
         (     ,/    (^))^))  )  ) ))^^^^^^^))^^)       _)
          *+__+*       (_))^)  ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^
          \             \_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^)
           (_             ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^)
             ^\___            ^\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\
                  ^^^^^\uuu/^^\uuu/^^^^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\
                     ___) >____) >___   ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\)
                    ^^^//\\_^^//\\_^       ^(\_\_\_\)
                      ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^
 ___________________
< Now I am a turtle >
 -------------------
    \                                  ___-------___
     \                             _-~~             ~~-_
      \                         _-~                    /~-_
             /^\__/^\         /~  \                   /    \
           /|  O|| O|        /      \_______________/        \
          | |___||__|      /       /                \          \
          |          \    /      /                    \          \
          |   (_______) /______/                        \_________ \
          |         / /         \                      /            \
           \         \^\\         \                  /               \     /
             \         ||           \______________/      _-_       //\__//
               \       ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~   ~\    || __/
                 ~-----||====/~     |==================|       |/~~~~~
                  (_(__/  ./     /                    \_\      \.
                         (_(___/                         \_____)_)
 ________________
< Now I am a tux >
 ----------------
   \
    \
        .--.
       |o_o |
       |:_/ |
      //   \ \
     (|     | )
    /'\_   _/`\
    \___)=(___/

 ____________________
< Now I am a unipony >
 --------------------
   \             \
    \             \_
     \             \\
      \             \\/\
       \            _\\/
        \         /   -\
         \      /  oo   -\
          \   /           \
             |    ---\    -\
             \--/     \     \
                       |      -\
                        \       -\         -------------\    /-\
                         \        \-------/              ---/    \
                          \                                  |\   \
                           |                                 / |  |
                           \                                |  \  |
                            |                              /    \ |
                            |                             /     \ |
                             \                             \     \|
                              -              /--------\    |      o
                               \+   +---------          \   |
                                |   |                   |   \
                                |   |                    \   |
                                |   |                    |   \
                                |   |                     \   |
                                 \  |                     |   |
                                 |  |                      \  \
                                 |  |                      |   |
                                 +--+                       ---+
 ____________________________
< Now I am a unipony-smaller >
 ----------------------------
   \        \
    \        \
     \       _\^
      \    _- oo\
           \---- \______
                 \       )\
                ||-----||  \
                ||     ||
 __________________
< Now I am a vader >
 ------------------
        \    ,-^-.
         \   !oYo!
          \ /./=\.\______
               ##        )\/\
                ||-----w||
                ||      ||

               Cowth Vader
 ________________________
< Now I am a vader-koala >
 ------------------------
   \
    \        .
     .---.  //
    Y|o o|Y//
   /_(i=i)K/
   ~()~*~()~
    (_)-(_)

     Darth
     Vader
     koala
 ________________
< Now I am a www >
 ----------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||--WWW |
                ||     ||

3.cmatrix

映画『MATRIX』の端末画面のような、上から下に縦に文字が流れていく表示をさせることが出来るコマンド。

●debian系の場合

apt-get install cmatrix

●Redhat系の場合

yum install cmatrix

実際に実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000004

4.funny manpages

全部英語ではあるが、manにコンドームなどの説明を追加するコマンド。

●debian系の場合

apt-get install funny manpages

実際に実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000005


test@Test-UbuntuOS004:~$ man condom
CONDOM(1) General Commands Manual CONDOM(1)

&nbsp;

NAME
condom - protection against viruses and prevention of child processes

SYNOPSIS
condom [options] [processid]

DESCRIPTION
condom provides protection against System Transmitted Viruses (STVs)
that may invade your system. Although the spread of such viruses across
a network can only be abated by aware and cautious users, condom is the
only highly effective means of preventing viruses from entering your
system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed to condom by the protected
process will be blocked, as specified by the value of the -s option (see
OPTIONS below). condom is known to defend against the following viruses
and other malicious afflictions:

・ AIDS
・ Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
・ Syphilis
・ Crabs
・ Genital warts
・ Gonhorrea
・ Chlamydia
・ Michelangelo
・ Jerusalem

When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1),
and/or setiud(3), condom also prevents the conception of a child
process. If invoked from within a synchronous process, condom has, by
default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes from becom‐
ing parent processes (see the -s option below). When other process con‐
traceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child process from
being forked becomes much greater. See pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and
setiud(3) for more information.

If no options are given, the current user's login process (as determined
by the environment variable USER) is protected with a Trojan rough-cut
latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional ``processid'' argu‐
ment is an integer specifying the process to protect.

NOTE: condom may only be used with a hard disk. condom will terminate
abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy disk (see DIAGNOSTICS
below).

OPTIONS
The following options may be given to condom:

-b brand
brands are as follows:

trojan (default)
ramses
sheik
goldcoin
fourex

-m material
The valid materials are:

latex (default)
saranwrap
membrane
WARNING! The membrane option is not endorsed by the
System Administrator General as an effective barrier
against certain viruses. It is supported only for the
sake of tradition.

-f flavor
The following flavors are currently supported:

plain (default)
apple
banana
cherry
cinnamon
licorice
orange
peppermint
raspberry
spearmint
strawberry

-r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)

-s strength
strength is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying the
resilience of condom against data passed to condom by the pro‐
tected process. Using a larger value of strength increases con‐
dom's protective abilities, but also reduces interprocess commu‐
nication. A smaller value of strength increases interprocess
communication, but also increases the likelihood of a security
breach. An extremely vigorous process or one passing an enormous
amount of data to condom will increase the chance of condom's
failure. The default strength is 80%.

-t texture
Valid textures are:

rough (default)
ribbed
bumps
lubricated
(provides smoother interaction between processes)

WARNING: The use of an external application to condom in order to reduce
friction between processes has been proven in benchmark tests to
decrease condom's strength factor! If execution speed is important to
your process, use the ``-t lubricated'' option.

DIAGNOSTICS
condom terminates with one of the following exit codes:

-1 An attempt was made to use condom on a floppy disk.

0 condom exited successfully (no data was passed to the synchronous
process).

1 condom failed and data was allowed through. The danger of trans‐
mission of an STV or the forking of a child process is inversely
proportional to the number of other protections employed and is
directly proportional to the ages of the processes involved.

BUGS
condom is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process from being
forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although the System
Administrator General has deemed that condom is the most effective means
of preventing the spread of system transmitted viruses). See
celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program for preventing
these problems.

Remember, the use of sex(1) and other related routines should only occur
between mature, consenting processes. If you must use sex(1), please
employ condom to protect your process and your synchronous process. If
we are all responsible, we can stop the spread of STVs.

AUTHORS and HISTORY
The original version of condom was released in Roman times and was only
marginally effective. With the advent of modern technology, condom now
supports many more options and is much more effective.

The current release of condom was written by Ken Maupin at the Univer‐
sity of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last updated on
10/7/92.

SEE ALSO
celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3)

&nbsp;

EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(1)

その他、womanやらsexやらbabyやらの説明が追加される。

5.banner

引数で指定した値をAA表示してくれる。

●debian系の場合

apt-get install sysvbanner

実際に実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000006

6.apt-get moo

apt-getコマンドでmooと指定すると、ウシのAAが表示されるというもの。
実際に実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000007

7.rev

入力した文字列をさかさまにしてくれるコマンド。
実際に実行した結果がこちら。

20140621_000008

8.aafire

aaでできた火を表示させる。

apt-get install libaa-bin

実際に実行した結果が以下。

20140621_000009

9.rig

ランダムなプロフィールを作成するコマンド。

apt-get install rig

実際に実行した結果が以下。

20140621_000010

10.bb

CUIでできたムービー?を流すコマンド。

apt-get install bb

実際に実行した結果が以下。

20140621_000011

11.telnet starwars

あるサーバにtelnet接続を行うと、AAのStarwarsが流れるというもの。
以下のコマンドで実行する。

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

実際に実行した結果が以下。

製作に関する情報がまず表示される。

20140621_000012

20th Century TEXTという表示が。

20140621_000015

Epsode IVが開始する。

20140621_000018

C3POとR2-D2がAAで登場。

20140621_000021

この後も物語は続くけど、後は自身の目で見てもらいたい。

 

Pocket

Written by blacknon

インフラ系のSE。一時期はプログラマ。 仮想化とオープンソースに興味あり。一日中寝てたい今日このごろ。 スペインとかで働きたいなぁ…(シエスタがあるので)